Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains.
EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
/GT
www.hgfirearms.dk
Shoot low, they might be crawling !!!!
Hellere være en original, end en dårlig kopi[B)]
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him..
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall..
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room ,
'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.
'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.
'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'
'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'
'I remember that too' she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says ...
'I would have been released today.'
/GT
www.hgfirearms.dk
Shoot low, they might be crawling !!!!
Hellere være en original, end en dårlig kopi[B)]
[
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Born to HUNT forced to work
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Hjemme hos os er de små mennesker vores 2 hunde [
]
--
mvh M@X 2.0
Boltlift - or bust...
![[Image: patch7.gif]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v487/416tatanka/patch7.gif)
Time weighed heavily on the craftsmans shoulders whispering
Compromise!
No true craftsman ever listened!
Is the klæusæk in the mood, or what!!!![
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]
SS
Satengaleme, det er jo weekend[
]
Og den ny/gamle kammerbænk skal installeres med frekvensomformer og højtrykskøling gennem spindlen....
Det bliver feeee[B)][
]
/GT
www.hgfirearms.dk
Shoot low, they might be crawling !!!!
Hellere være en original, end en dårlig kopi[B)]
Så I er altså 3 "short people" hjemme hos dig M@x ?
Venlig hilsen Lasse,DTAP
...Buy the best and cry only once.
Citat:quote:
Originally posted by LasseScout
Så I er altså 3 "short people" hjemme hos dig M@x ?
Venlig hilsen Lasse,DTAP
...Buy the best and cry only once.
Ja ja [
] jeg kan nemlig se mine hunde i øjnene [^]
--
mvh M@X 2.0
Boltlift - or bust...
Time weighed heavily on the craftsmans shoulders whispering
Compromise!
No true craftsman ever listened!