Våbenteknisk Forum - VTF

Fuld Version: National bevidst (joke)
Du ser i øjeblikket en skrabet udgave af vores indhold. Se den fulde version med ordentlig formatering.
Ever wonder what happens when you forget history or are nationally arrogant?

JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle
decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France
as soon as possible.
Rusk responded "Does that include those who are buried here?"

You could have heard a pin drop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were
taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers
came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done?
He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he
intended to do, bomb them?'

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly:

'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people;
they are nuclear powered and can supply
Emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the
capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day,
They can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day,
and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to
and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'

You could have heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Royal Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from
the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception,
he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from
most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their
drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many
languages, the English learn only English. He then asked, 'Why is it that we always
have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

Without hesitating, the British Admiral replied,

'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's, South Africans, and Americans arranged
it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

You could have heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...

Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs,
he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

The Englishman said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. You English always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"

The English senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained,

''Well, when I came ashore at Gold Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country,
I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to."

You could have heard a pin drop.
Yada yada yada,...

Polarbears walk a lonely path..

But we sometimes do kick back, relaxes and downs a beer. =o)
Skal vi tage nogen Grønlændervittigheder i stedet [Big Grin]

Verdens korteste vittighed og største løgn i en sætning:

"2 Grønlændere gik forbi et værtshus" [Big Grin][Big Grin][Big Grin]

--
mvh M@X 2.0
Boltlift - or bust...
[Image: patch7.gif][Image: rav.gif]
Time weighed heavily on the craftsmans shoulders whispering
Compromise!

No true craftsman ever listened!
Hvorfor er eskimoer holdt op med at holde housewarming???

--
mvh M@X 2.0
Boltlift - or bust...
[Image: patch7.gif][Image: rav.gif]
Time weighed heavily on the craftsmans shoulders whispering
Compromise!

No true craftsman ever listened!
Hvad er symbolerne ved gashåndtaget på en Grønlandsk sneplov?

En sæl og en isbjørn [^]

--
mvh M@X 2.0
Boltlift - or bust...
[Image: patch7.gif][Image: rav.gif]
Time weighed heavily on the craftsmans shoulders whispering
Compromise!

No true craftsman ever listened!
I så fald er isbjørnen den langsomme.... Big Grin

=o)

Polarbears walk a lonely path..

But we sometimes do kick back, relaxes and downs a beer. =o)
Her i DK er det normalt en hare og en skildpadde [?]

Men jeg har set på en Italiensk drejebænk med 3 hastigheder. Traktor, bil og flyvemaskine. [Smile]

--
mvh M@X 2.0
Boltlift - or bust...
[Image: patch7.gif][Image: rav.gif]
Time weighed heavily on the craftsmans shoulders whispering
Compromise!

No true craftsman ever listened!
Fransk kampfane

[Image: white+flag.jpg]
Istedet for at kvinder betaler formuer for at få lavet "silikone padder" kan der spares tusindevis af kroner ved at de bruger toiletpapir.
fremgangsmåden er: De skal bare tage et par stykker toiletpapir og tørre i kavalergangen 2-3 gange pr. dag og deres bryster vil begynde at blive større.

bevis, ja bare se på deres røv.

/Rolin

"But the bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it."
Hvornår er kvinder for fede? Når maven rager længere frem end padderne.

Løsning - silicone [xx(]

--
mvh M@X 2.0
Boltlift - or bust...
[Image: patch7.gif][Image: rav.gif]
Time weighed heavily on the craftsmans shoulders whispering
Compromise!

No true craftsman ever listened!
Hvad er det kvinder på 50 har, som kvinder på 20 ikke har.
Navlen mellem padderne.

/Rolin

"But the bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it."
Lange padder.

[Image: image_zpsf9b3acc8.jpg]

/Rolin

"But the bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it."
[Image: collegehumor.fe119117e00805a86ac44bd93156b63a.jpg]
[Big Grin][:o)][Big Grin]
De kan også godt være pæne!

][Image: selection120png_zpsd23f0df0.jpg]
[Image: dailyselection013_zps2a1d9bf0.jpg]
[Image: ATT00057_zps05a18187.jpg]
For nu at komme tilbage til de franske overgivelsesaber:

[Image: FrenchArmyKnife_zpsc04f859e.jpg]
[Image: image_zps6a63c2af.jpg]

/Rolin

"But the bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it."
Thank you all of you, you made my day...

[Image: 7ce630cf-e502-4bbc-bd1f-4da15978101c_zps93f1a662.jpg]
Citat:quote:

Originally posted by rolin

[Image: image_zps6a63c2af.jpg]

/Rolin

"But the bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it."



Er det "Triaderne" eller Ipad 3[?]

K&B Claxel [Wink]

[Image: hunt-an3.gif]

Beware of a man with customised rifles ...
Hmm, så sidder man og reflekterer lidt over nogle livssætninger/mottoer/talemåder der passer ret godt.

1: Jeg ville slå ihjel for en Nobel Freds Pris
2: Lån penge fra pessimister - de forventer dem ikke tilbage
3: Halvdelen af vennerne er under gennemsnittet
4: 99% af advokaterne giver resten et dårligt ry
5: Samvittigheden er det der gør ondt, når resten af dig har det SKIIIIIIDEgodt
6: En ren samvittighed er tegn på dårlig hukommelse
7: Hvis du elsker regnbuen, må du også tage alt vandet med
8: Alle dem der tror på telekinese, ræk min hånd op.!!
9: Okay, man kan så også spørge... hvad er MØRKETS hastighed.??
10: Hvordan finder man ud af om man er løbet tør for usynligt blæk.?
11: Hvis alt går godt, så er der sikkert noget du har overset
12: Depression er bare at være stiktosset uden enthusiasme
13: Når alt kommer i din retning, har du kørt for længe i overhalingsbanen
14: Jeg har planlagt at ville leve for evigt........ så langt, så godt.
15: Det kan godt ske at fuglene kan flyve - men hunde bliver ikke suget ind i jetmotorer
16: Hvad sker der hvis du bliver skræmt halvt ihjel TO gange.?
17: Kender i det - mekanikeren siger at han ikke kunne reparere bremserne, så han har i stedet monteret et kraftigere horn.??
18: Når du ringer til en spåkone... hvorfor spørger de så om hvem det er.?!?
19: Hvis det ikke lykkedes for dig første gang - så fjern alle beviser på at du nogensinde har prøvet.!
20: En konklusion er det sted hvor du blev træt af at tænke videre.
21: Erfaring er hvad du ikke har eller får indtil liiiiige efter du har brug for det
22: Hårdheden af smør er proportional med hvor blødt og friskt brødet er
23: Når du stjæler en ide fra én person, så er det at plagiere - når du stjæler en ide fra mange, så er det research
24: Jo hurtigere du falder bagud - jo længere tid har du til at nå tilbage til feltet
25: I røntgenafdelingen : Jo koldere røntgenbordet er, jo mere af din krop skal op og ligge nøgent på det
26: ALLE har fotografisk hukommelse - jeg kender dog en masse der kun har sort/hvid film i, hvis endda så meget....
27: Hvis det ikke lykkedes for dig første gang - så er faldskærmsudspring ikke noget for dig

Polarbears walk a lonely path..

But we sometimes do kick back, relaxes and downs a beer. =o)
Hvorfor er det så skægt at binde ukogt spaghetti på tværs i undulat-buret som pind. ??

PIIIIP ---knæk-- **Faceplant**

Polarbears walk a lonely path..

But we sometimes do kick back, relaxes and downs a beer. =o)